Chapter 1... we meet Edward.

Chapter 1... not your typical Edward which is where it all started for me. I wanted someone different, I wanted someone you wouldn't expect.

Chapter 1

"I did it!" was the entire message Emmett left on my machine. Unfortunately, I knew the meaning of those three little words. My bud had proposed to his longtime girlfriend, Rosalie.

It meant the end of him, of us, of our drunken sports-bar nights- our friendship was over. Oh, he'd deny it (they all do), but I wasn't overreacting. I've seen firsthand what marriages do. In recent years I'd been abandoned every time one of my friends got hitched. In fact, as soon as each put the engagement right on his gal's finger, she put the brakes on his "bad influence" friends- me being the worst. (Okay, I basically use women for cheap, dirty sex, then brag about it to anyone who will listen. Does that make me a bad person?)

I have a theory. Before the marriage proposal the girlfriend has no say. She is on her best behavior when they're dating. But there's something about that shiny diamond- even the tiniest one- that gives her the confidence to take charge of her man. It's as if the diamond acts like vise on his balls.

Before the dreaded proposal, I had tried to stop my only remaining unwed friend from making the biggest mistake of his life, tried knocking some sense into him, I pointed out that in the U.S. 50 percent of marriages fail. I told him to think of his parents, who after getting divorced both married again and both got divorced again. I reminded him about my parents, a great example of why people should never get married. They're not divorced, but they'd be better off if they were, since they can never be in the same room without sounding like the room is about to be transformed into a murder crime scene.

Emmett laughed off my excellent advice, including the scientific data, insisting I was just bummed because I hadn't found my "true love" yet. What a goddamned sap he was turning into!

When I finally returned Emmett's call, it got worse. He wanted me to be his best man! What the hell led him to think I should be the one to toast his capitulation to coupledom? I was the last man for that job. Yet somehow I found myself agreeing to this absurd request.

"Kill me now!" I thought as he rambled on like a giddy girl. He ranted and raved about the venue, about the flowers they needed for the service, about God-only-knows-what- I had stopped listening. All the signs were there: I was losing my friend. Imagine old Emmett consumed by wedding planning! The only thing that formerly consumed him was Seattle Seahawk scores.

Somehow, the ten gruesome months of preparation passed, and against my will (and better judgment) I had to fulfill my duties as best man. I took consolation in the fact that foremost among my duties was sending the doomed man off with the raunchiest, most disgusting bachelor night I could devise.

I opted to skip the strip-joint party thing. Instead, I thought, why not bring the entertainment to him? And just him!

His ball-and-chain was going to the city with friends for her last night of freedom. Probably getting shit-faced and flirting with strange guys. I figured- no doubt the "bad boy" types they would never marry. She promised Emmett she would behave, and said she expected the same from him. I nearly barfed from watching their tender goodbyes. They were only going to spend one fucking night apart! Didn't it occur to them that they were going to be stuck spending the rest of their lives together?

When Rosalie finally left, I clapped and shouted, "Let the fun begin!"

Minutes later- perfect timing!- the doorbell rang, and three scantily clad women waltzed through. Each had different features: Blonde-hair blue eyes, Red-hair green eyes and brunette with brown eyes- a perfect blend, like three different flavors of ice cream, all delicious in their own way, I couldn't wait to have a taste of each.

The redhead, with her endless flowing red hair and endless cleavage, stepped up to Emmett and said "You the one getting hitched?"

He nodded, his eyes glued to her gigantic tits (implants I figured), which were exposed in her bralike top.

"Well ladies, you know what to do," she announced.

Suddenly, like Charlie's Angels, they circled around Emmett and tied him up on one of his dining-room chairs. One by one peeling off their clothes. The Blonde woman's ass was so beautiful and shiny, I wanted to slap it, while the brunette chick's smooth pussy looked good enough to lick.

My dick rose as the women crowded around Emmett nuzzling their body parts in his face. He made a show of resistance as the fiery redhead tugged at his pants and underwear, leaving the other two to zoom in on his erection.

"No!" he hollered.

"But you're all nice and ready for us," the blonde said, grasping his dick. "Look how nice and hard you are."

"No, that's enough," Emmett said, shouting like a madman. "Stop!"

Somehow he managed to lift himself up and run away, with the chair still attached to him- and his underwear dangling at his feet! I didn't realize he'd turned into such a lame lapdog.

The ladies turned to me in confusion.

"Should we get going?" the redhead said to me. Her tits were so large, you would have need more than two hands to grasp them.

"Why not stay?" I said, yanking my shirt up over my head, baring my chest. It's pretty ripped, and seemed to capture their interest. Hell, they were being paid for the evening anyway.

They pushed me down onto Emmett's leather couch and resumed the seduction scene that the wussy bridegroom-to-be had aborted. This time I assure you they were met with no resistance.

Three tongues slithered over me. Two girls, the blonde and redhead, sucked on my balls, almost making my cream bubble to the surface, while the third, the brunette girl, took care of my cock. Talk about ecstasy- a triple scoop delight! I was amazed at the way the brunette girl stuffed all of my nine inches in her mouth. She turned out to give fantastic head. The combination of getting a hummer and getting my balls sucked sent thrills all through me.

I knew I didn't have much time before I was going to blast off. All three girls sped up their sucking, and I felt my balls stirring and my dick contracting. "I'm going to blow!" I shouted, then squirted four streams of come in the lovely brunette girls mouth. She swallowed every drop.

Once the ladies were gone, Emmett was back- in my face, glowering and shaking his head. "I can't believe you sent those whores to my house," he hissed.

"Get over it, pussyboy," I said, laughing. "You'll be married tomorrow. This is the most action you'll see in years."

That was just a typical night in my life...